⚧️ Sexuality & Repression¶
Estimated time to read: 4 minutes
Better off dead¶
Some years ago the First Presidency said to the youth of the Church, “Better dead, clean, than alive, unclean.” (In Conference Report, Apr. 1942, p. 89).
— Trust in the Lord, Marion G Romney, General Conference 1979 April
Direct quote:
TO the youth of the Church we repeat all the foregoing advice, but above all we plead with you to live clean, for the unclean life leads only to suffering. misery, and woe physically, — and spiritually it is the path to destruction. How glorious and near to the angels is youth that is clean; this youth has joy unspeakable here and eternal happiness hereafter. Sexual purity is youth's most precious possession; it is the foundation of all righteousness. Better dead, clean, than alive, unclean. Times approach when we shall need all the health, strength, and spiritual power we can get to bear the afflictions that will come upon us.
President J Reuben Clark Jr, Message of the First Presidency Conference reports of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints; 1940-1949; 1942 April; Church History Library, https://catalog.churchofjesuschrist.org/assets/97ba1680-e238-460f-a305-61461b9e1b04/0/89?lang=eng (accessed: January 21, 2024)
Boy, I hope telling hormonal teenagers that they're better off dead than being horny won't have any repercussions down the road. That would be a really bad look if that were to happen.
Shame¶
The LDS Church prides itself on raising young people with good sexual values. While it may prevent a lot of them from having sex too early, the truth, however, is that it also inflicts an enormous amount of psychological and sexual damage.
It places an insufferable burden of shame and guilt on young people for things that are completely normal. (sexual thoughts, masturbation, etc.) It teaches LGBTQ+ youth that their feelings are sinful and can never be acted upon which, along with persecution they face within the Church, drives them towards depression and suicide.
In LDS theology, sex outside wedlock is the “sin next to murder.” Church object lessons have compared those who have had pre-marital sex to chewed gum, crumpled paper, licked food, etc., and these teachings are so damaging to so many young people’s self-worth. Those who have engaged in sexual activity prior to marriage are required to go through the traumatic experience of confessing their acts, often in unnecessary detail, to a much older man, followed by the public shaming of not being allowed to take the sacrament in front of their peers.
Because the LDS Church allows no sexual outlet whatsoever to young people prior to marriage, some feel compelled to rush into marriage prematurely. Because the Church has surrounded pre-marital sex in such an aura of shame, some members have trouble having sex, even after marriage, without feeling guilty about it.
I do remember being taught that having sexual desires is normal, but we’re expected to live as functionally asexual beings until we’re married. While that may be just fine and dandy for those who are actually asexual people, it’s not so great for the rest of us.
Potiphar's Wife¶
Undoubtedly Potiphar’s wife flattered Joseph and expressed her alleged love for him at first. When this failed, she tried force and intrigue; and, failing there, she tried to cover with blackmail. With such a clear conscience, Joseph’s dark dungeon must have been to him a pleasant prison. At least here he was safe from exploitation and contamination. She said to Joseph, “I love you.” What she wanted was not Joseph but his handsome, appealing body.
— Love vs. Lust, Spencer W. Kimball, BYU Speeches, 5 January 1965
I do remember hearing this sentiment when I was a teenager. I remember the impression it made on me. And I still struggle with intimacy because of how much I was raised to believe that sex is bad under any circumstance.