😬 Anxiety¶
Estimated time to read: 4 minutes
"Why are all these kids struggling with anxiety today?" — A nonspecific church authority, probably
In this course, you will learn how to be a good steward of the things you have been blessed with. This lesson is all about using time. God has given you agency to use your time as you choose, but he warns us not to “idle away thy time” (D&C 60:13) because you will have to stand before God one day and give an account of what you did with your time. You will have to provide a stewardship of the time, talents, and blessings that the Lord has given you.
— Time Management, BYU Pathways
The principle of accountability is fundamental in God’s eternal plan. We will all stand before the Lord at the last judgment and give an accounting for what we have done with the opportunities He has given us (see Alma 5:15–19; D&C 137:9).
— "How Do I Use Time Wisely?" Heading "Accountability", Preach My Gospel
Agency¶
"God has given you agency to use your time as you choose," but... "he warns [you] not to waste it."
So do I have agency or not? What kind of agency is this where, if I use it as I choose, I end up doomed? Is it just a label? "You have agency, but use it only in this way, otherwise, to hell with you!"
- "You are free to choose. But choose this way or you'll die."
- "Tithing is voluntary. But if you don't pay you aren't saved."
- "Yes! My niece chose to be baptized!"
Every decision we make has consequences— no qualm or disagreement there. But an earthly organization attaching eternal damnation to my life's decisions does not sit well with me.
Pervasive cultural ideas I've encountered:
- Not doing enough: Scripture study, prayer, temple work, ministering, missionary work, etc.
- Not worthy enough: to give blessings with the priesthood or have the holy ghost as your companion. Not worthy of blessings in this mortal life or in the next life.
- Not living up to my patriarchal blessing.
- Not understanding or performing the gospel correctly. "I shouldn't just go through the motions, I need to have faith in the saving ordinances!"
Yeah I'm living in a state of constant worry that I'm being watched and judged by an invisible, vengeful deity. I'm always second-guessing every decision I make, and even today, I'm grappling with the idea of activities being "permissible" or not.
Surely I'm not alone in this assessment?
Prayer¶
At least we know that God won't turn us away if we ask in prayer, right?
I'd be pretty dismayed to hear God respond to his chosen prophet by saying "stop asking me dumb questions" since that would make me feel even less qualified to talk to the one we call heavenly father. (D&C 5:29, D&C 59:22, D&C 130:15)
I'd also feel tense about talking to God if he gave the stipulation that "you figure it out on your own first, then ask me." The only thing that could make that idea worse is if God's response was intangible and vague. (D&C 9:8-9)
It'd also be pretty upsetting to hear God tell Joseph to "slow down and wait for me to tell you what to do— I need a minute to make some preparations before you can continue to do what I say." (D&C 5:35), when this same God then tells Joseph that "I don't want to have to tell you every little thing to do! If you do that, you're lazy and stupid." (D&C 58:26)
Oh. Okay, maybe I'll... I'll just keep my concerns to myself, then.